My blog has evolved a lot recently... it's become much more than just a place to rant about veganism. Its become more like an online journal, bursting with personal posts that I never expected to write.
This progression is terrifying, but very rewarding. Mainly because of the response. I don't always want to write about veganism, I want to write about what I'm thinking about in that moment, or what's really happening to me. And that is when I write best.
So, what is going on right now?
Today I have been marveling over how we allow other people to have control over us.
Even worse - have control over our sense of self worth.
It's mad, its insane and it's far too common. How much of what makes you happy is because someone gave you a complement? How much of what makes you sad is from another person's mouth?
I am a people person. I love people. Others give me energy. I get a sense of worth seeing the people around me at a dinner table and thinking, "look at all my friends! They're amazing... I must be kind of amazing too!"
But it's an entirely different ball game when people are making you feel low.
When you feel put down.
When you are being bullied.
Flipping that logic on its head is scary. If you are being made to feel horrible, it's only normal to think "do I deserve this? Am I horrible?"
Have you ever experienced this? Are you experiencing something like it now?
Because please do not let it. I have witnessed incredible, phenomenal and talented people feel like nothing, even for just a moment, because of another person. It's baffling to watch from the outside. But then it happens to you. You wake up and realize you are hearing advice you gave out yourself only a few months ago.
It's easy to see from the outside. You want to boost people up and say "no! Do not feel low! You are amazing", but when you yourself are a victim and there is very little people can say to drown out the voice of the bully.
Why is this? Why do some people have such power?
Is this the difference between true bullies and everyone else? Bullies must have some kind of extra power and authority. A voice that is louder than the others. One that commands attention.
After my recent experience, I can't understand how people ever cope with serious bullying. It's an issue I've never thought about much, but now, cannot stop.
The only way to navigate bullying, I think, is by having a strong sense of self, talking to loved ones and analyzing your tormentor. I have no magic wand and don't know if this is even good advice, but what got me through the last month was trying to evaluate what was happening and talking to loved ones as much as possible.
My mother has a saying: "it's not the mouth it comes out of, but the mind it goes into". Usually when dealing with a bully, you'll find that very little of what you actually say has any impact at all. You can say "Hello", "how are you?", "did you invite Andrew?", "have you done the dishes", anything remotely innocent. A bully will take whatever they like from your words. They will twist them, they will hear what they like and you will be the enemy.
Because a bully, ultimately, is the victim. They are the ones needing to push you down and make themselves tall. Never forget it.
Again, it's easier said than done, but keep on saying it until it feels doable.
YOU have the power over your own emotions. You are all-powerful. You are in control.
If you feel out of control, try and fix something immediately.
Drown Out the Negativity
Think about the grand scope of your amazing life.... the infinity.... the endless possibilities.... all the options that are out there for you.
You can literally do anything you want in this world. You have all the power.
If you are in a situation that is making you feel negative and low - GET OUT OF IT. Surround yourself with positivity and excitement.
Life is not simple and I rant about this because I didn't do it myself (it's so easy to give advice you cannot take) but hindsight is a powerful thing and of course, now I wish I'd acted sooner.
Listen to your instincts. They are real.
Get Away - Make Time For You...
Enough said.... get away. Detox yourself.
Do something for YOU. Get your hair done, paint your nails in front of a Friends marathon.... go get a cup of coffee, eat an entire cake....
Go visit a friend ;) you know who you are... x
The Power Comes From You
Guess what? You are giving the bully this power.
Every moment you spend thinking about them, talking about them and feeling upset - is their power.
Fill your life with distractions - but not at the expense of dealing with anything traumatic. If you have been through something traumatic, of course you must deal with it accordingly and let yourself feel.
Feel, honor and respect your emotions - but do not feed them. Do not feed negativity. Let it go.
Who Do YOU Respect?
Who are the people you love and respect in this world? What are their feelings?
I bet they respect you.
I bet you don't respect the bully, do you?
Don't give someone power you do not even respect.
Onwards and UPWARDS
I used to be afraid of writing posts like this.... afraid they would be "liked" or "shared" a bit too publicly and people from my real life would see them and behave weirdly towards me.
Or worse, that the wrong people would see them...
But now, I take this power. I take this ownership. This is my space. It's mine. I do with it what I like and I need to write about this.
I am so excited for the future. It is a toxic-free environment that belongs to me and is full of infinite possibilities.
I will become the person who takes her own advice. I will chase my dreams, I will fill my life with positivity and I will seize the day.
I will also bake more.
Love and Sweet Potatoes,
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